|Photo by Joy Franklin|
At the age of 19, I was married to my soul mate, my best friend, blah blah blah. We were happy for a long time but our marriage ended after 10 years, but it gave me my older 3 children and, for that, I am eternally grateful. I have since added two other children, bringing the total to 5.
We are a multi-racial family. The kids & I are all Choctaw & Caucasian. However, the older boys are also Cherokee & Colville. My daughters are Muscogee (Creek) & African American. Regardless of our genetic make-up or how each member joined our family, we are family, first and foremost.
While I am certainly not perfect, I do what I can to leave this world a better place than I found it.
My daughter, Beautiful, joined our family as a foster placement. After an extremely complicated and heart crushing journey, her mother's rights were terminated and we adopted her. Many years later, her bio sister was taken into care, and eventually joined our family through adoption, as well. At this time, we do not currently have a relationship with their bio family, despite having left that door open.
My mother was also adopted. In her case, by her maternal grandparents. We currently have a relationship with her bio mother. There was also sporadic contact with her biofather prior to his death.
Needless to say, my family is a little complicated & difficult for some to understand.
To see my adoption related posts, click HERE.
Perhaps the best thing a parent can do is to admit that they really don't know what they are doing.
The truth is, there are no "right" answers & I am certainly no expert. My basic parenting philosophy is that of openness. I am open to the ideas of others because I can learn from both the positive & the negative. I am open with my children because I realize that they can teach me as much as I can teach them. I am open to the lessons that I can learn about the world around me.
My strategy is quite simple. I take cues from my children &, when making decisions, I try to consider the ultimate outcome and the life lesson that it will teach them (and whether that is something I REALLY want them to learn). Finally, I try to choose my battles carefully. If this hill ain't worth dying on, so to speak, then maybe I should just let it go...
So, to see what I have said along the way about the ups & downs of parenting, click HERE.