I realized, recently, that I've become so accustomed to not speaking out when I'm mistreated & was shown how much my experiences can really help others. So, I tried an experiment. I tweeted one of the never ending string of harassing texts that I get.
I had never done this before, mostly because I don't want people to know what I put up with because then I get well-meaning, but largely unhelpful advice. But, also, because they normally go on for many more than the three screenshots that I managed to end this one in.
(No, his name isn't usually listed that way in my phone. But I didn't feel good about throwing his name out to Twitter.)
Immediately after posting, I started getting feedback from others who experience the same sort of issues related to their children.
I never used to understand when my elders wanted me against being with people who have incompatible cultures, but now I get it. And, when you add the controlling narcissist factor he's got going on, things escalate quickly.
So, last night, he discovers the tweeted conversation from 2/2. I received a call at 10:28 pm, which I answered, thinking something was wrong with my child, who is at visitation right now. However, when I answer I hear "Summer, I'm sick & fucking tired of being put on blast on your Twitter!" Naturally, I hung up, after calming telling him I was doing so, so that he would know he was not welcome to call me again. He immediately called back, which I did not answer; but did send his a text to tell him that I didn't wish to speak to him.
This is a calm, normal conversation, relatively speaking. I refuse to fight or engage. And very often he ends up blocked from my phone. Unfortunately, I feel that isn't an option when our son is at visitation. So...
Anyhow, the moral of the story is: if even you feel like your own words or behaviors make you look like a jackass...perhaps you should change those behaviors...