Monday, April 4, 2016

Canceled visit

My kids' scheduled visits, this past weekend, with their dads were cancelled. It was nice to be able to have the weekend with them.

I'm always happy to take them, because they want to see their dads but visit weekends consist of a minimum of 8 hours of driving, split into two days. This, of course, means almost nothing else can be accomplished during those weekends and limits our family time to only two weekends a month. Naturally, since I'm the only adult supporting these kids, often I have things that have to be done on at least one weekend per month, just to make the juggle, which limits out time further. 

Weekdays, naturally, are consumed by school and the evening by homework & prep for the next school day. Which means, on an average month, we are generally left with only about one day per month where we are all together and can have family time, just doing something enjoyable. 

So, it was nice to have an unexpected extra weekend thrown in for us to hang out, together, and even check out the local medieval fair. The kids noticed, too, that having the extra weekend made a huge difference in our family time, because a few of them commented how nice it was; which made me feel good because they've all complained about us not having enough time.

The Bigs took the visit cancellation rather well. Wasband called and told them he had to work, so they understood. 

Relations between he & them have been improving, somewhat, lately. The last couple visits they've had, the kids have come back genuinely happy rather than stressed. When I asked what the difference was, they told me the gf wasn't home during the last visit and, the previous, they said she stayed locked in her room away from them. 

Honestly, I was a bit surprised to hear them express so clearly to be relieved she wasn't around, since they try so hard to please their dad. But, it does make sense.

I'm not really sure what's going on with Wasband, since we don't talk. All I know is the gf announced online that she left him & now he says he's gone on a job. So, hopefully this means he'll start working steady, again, like the responsible adult that he used to be. Not that there is any guarantee of benefit to me, if he does, but it will at least set a better example for our kids. 

I'm fighting a constant battle, right now, with the oldest because he no longer sees the value of education because "dad doesn't have a job, I'll be fine without one". It makes me cry & scream because I've raised him better than to just throw away his opportunities & settle for less than his potential. So, to watch him considering following such a poor example is hard enough. To realize it's coming from his father, the one person who was supposed to help me push him towards better, is devastating. Though, it does remind me that I made the right choice in leaving. Just got to keep this kid moving in the right direction, as much as I can. That's what I keep telling myself. ..

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