Monday, June 29, 2015

Adoption final.

Today Lil Sis's adoption was finalized.

There's lots of bittersweet in adoption. I'm happy she has permanency, now, to help her heal. But I also weep for the pain & loss she has endured in her short life. 

I could probably fill pages with my contemplations about the complexities, but, right now, I'm off to take her to culture camp. Please take a moment to think or pray for her future...& for her mother. I know she has a lot of pain & loss in all this, as well. 

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Baby sister

There've been quite few twists & turns since the girls' baby sister was born. 

The original placement backed out & never picked her up from the hospital. She was taken to a state foster home, which was not ICWA compliant. The status of placement fluctuated nearly every day, it seemed.

At one point, they said they didn't want to move her until paternity test comes back but, since he hasn't even given his sample, that's at least a couple months away. I implored ICW to push the state to comply with ICWA, to minimize respeated moves, especially as she gets older.

At one point, I was asked to take placement again. I agreed & the overfill request was made. In the meantime, the state was saying they didn't want to move her to me because the distance was inconvenient for visits with the bios. They make the same excuse about sibling visits. 

In the end, ICW & the state staffed the case & decided to place the baby in a kinship placement--a family member of the mother. Naturally, this concerns me because both of her other sisters were placed with maternal family members & it ended badly. Granted, these are not the se individuals, but it feels like a gamble, given the overall history. But, they say it's in her "best interest" because she'll still be with bio relatives, and I have too many kids already. 

I asked about the sibling contact. ICW says they will "encourage" them to do that but they won't make it a condition of placement because the girls have never lived together so there's "no existing relationship". 

This feels very much like a repeat of when Lil Sis was born & they did a 180, sending her home with her mother. I know it is out of my hands, so all I can do is keep taking care of the babies in my home & keep praying for the baby that's out there.

I sincerely hope this placement turns out differently than the ones the other girls endured. I would never want another child to go through what her sisters did. And I sincerely hope that this family member's sudden interest in getting to know my girls & having sibling contact is real, and not just empty words to get placement. Only time will tell.