Saturday, December 14, 2013

Semi-Happy Holidays

December is always bittersweet in my family.

Beautiful's 8th birthday was this week. We celebrated a couple days early, because the day is sad for her, as she very much misses her grandmother. My Mother in Law & she shared a birthday, & the day has been hard for her ever since her Na died. I can't call her my "former MIL" because she was still very much a part of our lives until the end. I divorced her son, not her. In fact, I was very sad that my classes prevented me from attending her funeral, but am grateful that I had the opportunity to take my children to see her in the hospital not long before her death.

This year, though, she seemed additionally sad. When I asked her why, she said that she was thinking about her Dad & wondering if he was going to come see her any time soon. I did my best to validate her feelings and tried to cheer her up. Truth is, though, I don't have any answers for her. I have yet to see any indication that he's making steps to complete the things the court requires in order for him to have visitation. So, I really don't know.

Lil Sis's birthday is coming up, before Christmas. This will be her first birthday & Christmas in our home. It remains to be seen if there will be any issues that come up for her about these dates.

As each of the birthdays come & go, though, I think of their mother. She knows they are out there. She may not always be cognizant of their exact ages or birth dates, but she loves them & knows that she is missing out on their lives. I know that causes her pain. I've seen it on her face & heard it in her voice. The fact that she wasn't able to provide them a safe home, doesn't mean she didn't love them. So, my heart hurts for her, especially this time of year. For those people that do so, please say a prayer for her.

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