Sunday, February 17, 2013

Deep Breath...

I've been in problem solving mode for the last week, since receiving the news of the change in Lil's Sis case. I've gone through the whole gamet of emotions in an unpredictable loop, but only in small increments. Most of the time I kept thing compartmentalized so that I could get things done.

At first, I tried to convince the ICW to change their mind. When that was unsuccessful, I spoke with the state CW about the other options. Since my home is the next best option, I had to make a decision as to whether I could take on another child. While I was giving it thought, though, I was told that the foster family had decided that they wanted her moved "on Monday"...wow, nothing like having to decide & get your home certified for a foster placement in three days. BUT, I did it.

Thankfully, the foster family has decided not to push the moving date. While it appears that an eventual move is inevitable, we are all going to regroup and try to come to an agreement that works for everyone. My understanding from ICW is that they will be satisfied as long as transitional visits begin soon and there is a projected moving date. So, hopefully we can come up with a plan soon.

Since finding out yesterday that I will not be getting another child tomorrow, I've been able to actually allow myself to process some of the emotions. The truth is, the thought of adding another child to my home is terrifying. However, this is my daughter's sister. I have worried about this child since before she was born. There were a few times that we were prepared to take her into our home, but child welfare would change their mind & not remove her. Over the last 5 years, I have worried about her & tried to keep up with an information that I could find on the family, just hoping that this little girl was safe.

I made a promise to both these little girls, years ago, that I would do my best to make sure that were safe...& together, if possible. I cannot describe the feeling when I saw the report that their grandmother had been arrested for domestic violence. I feared what that meant for Lil Sis. When I found out that she was in a foster home where she was happy & attached, I was overjoyed...especially when they were so willing to allow support the sisters' relationship. After all, they don't have to be in the same house to have each other. Although it now seems that she will likely end up living in my home, I feel the same way. She can still have her current foster family in her life, even if she doesn't get to live with them full time...and I will try my level best to make sure that happens.

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