Saturday, December 29, 2012

So THIS is what being childless is like?!?

I'm spending a few days without kids for the first time in ages. It's hard to be away from the baby, especially, since he's never spent a night away from me before. However, I plan to use this time to do all the wild & crazy things that I don't get to do with the kids here....like go to bed early, sleep late, clean the garage, shampoo carpets, etc. ;)

I'm trying to organize and get things lined out because, on the 2nd, our lives return to our new normal. I start my new internship & the kids go back to school. Very shortly thereafter, my semester will begin. So, in addition to my work & kid schedules, I will have a full load of classes. My schedule promises to be more hectic than ever, but I'm focusing on the fact that it is the final semester. It's almost over...

It's been so long since I've been without kids, that I forgot what it's like. When I clean the house...it actually stays clean! When I go run errands, it takes half the time without wrangling kidlets. When I go to bed at night, I can sleep through the night without a baby's cry waking me up. BUT, when I get up in the morning, the house is empty. There's no giggling or playing or kids telling me funny stories... So, as much as the break is helpful & necessary, I miss them & I'm ready for them to be home with me where they belong.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

What makes a sibling?

It's always fun to watch children try to figure out how things work. In my house, I don't use the whole half-sibling or step-sibling terminology. However, they've picked up these concepts at school. So, they realize that many people consider their baby brother to be only their "half-brother". However, they are having trouble figuring out how my daughter's little sister fits in here. After all, they share a sister with her, but they don't really have any relation to her.

We define family by relationship, rather than biology, but this doesn't help them much here since they've never met her. It's rather interesting to watch them attempt to put this relationship into the limited boxes provided by a narrow minded society. My advice to them was to stop trying to label it and let's just focus on trying to develop the relationship.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

They should give a girl some advance warning!

Today I went to the state Supreme Court to be sworn in as a Licensed Legal Intern. So, I'm getting once step closer to being an actual attorney.

When you walk into the building, you are met with this sign:

No "Dangerous/venomous/wild animals"?!? Really??? Is that an issue that comes up frequently enough that it needs to be posted???

As one of my friends said:  
"I certainly hope you left your basket of snakes at home! They should give a girl some advance warning!"

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

One step at a time...

Thanks to a wonderful person in my life, who loves my children as much as I do...& who unquestionably loves me more than I love myself...the rent is paid. The kids & I have a place to live for another month & the baby has diapers...and I am eternally grateful. Though I will try to repay her in as many ways as possible, I know that I will never be able to show her how eternally grateful I am for all the things she has done for me & my family. She has been there through many triumphs and disappointments over the years. She comforted me when my life shattered & has supported me as I try to put the pieces back together into something usable so that I can make a life for my kids. I pray that she knows how much she means to me.

So...with that weight off, I'm back to finals. I have reached the point in finals fatigue where meltdown is imminent. It's. Almost. Over...right? ;)

Monday, December 10, 2012

Just one of those days...

It's just one of those days...

I know some people have a love-hate relationship with Mondays. Today, I completely understand. It's the middle of finals. The big kids were home from school Thursday & Friday with a stomach virus, which I then had over the weekend. The rent is late...I have until tomorrow to come up with a good deal of money out of the cosmos...I have two take home finals that are due by Wednesday. And, it appears that now I'm going to have help writing this final...in the form of a sick 11 month old...

Well played, universe...well played...and, by the way, your sense of humor is twisted.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Defining family

Last week my mother's niece (also her biological sister) died...and I was once again reminded how this whole adoption thing makes my family slightly difficult to explain.

My mother was adopted by her maternal grandparents. To me, it's simple. My grandparents are the people who filled that role. While I have a relationship with her bio mother, I consider her to be my aunt. Perhaps it would be different if I had known her growing up, but I didn't meet her until I was grown. So, to me, mom's bio mom is her sister. Her bio sister (who was raised by bio mom) is her niece.

To me, it's not that complicated. In my worldview, genetics has a role BUT relationship is far more important. So, I don't have any reservations about considering the family relationship to be that of the role that they fill in my life. Apparently, though, this offends some people...

I have an ongoing debate (perhaps argument would be more accurate) with someone that I know about this issue. He gets quite upset that I call my mom's bio mother my aunt, rather than my grandmother. When I talk about my family, he actually corrects me on their titles.

I will grant him the fact that he was raised by his grandparents, like my mother. However, in his case there was no adoption and the genetic titles were reinforced sternly. In fact, he was scolded if he called his grandmother "Mom". So, to him, it is strange for me to relate to my family differently.

Family adoption, as well as kids being raised by various other family members, is not an uncommon phenomenon. Personally, I believe that these life is too complicated to make sweeping generalizations. Each set of circumstances is so different that it isn't possible to say which is better--family adoption or simply family caregivers. However, one thing that I do believe to be true is this: each person is entitled to define their family in their own way. Don't judge others family or their relationship simply because it is different from your own, or the way that you conceive of it.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

I swear!

I haven't had time to blog because I'm in the middle of finals. But, I thought I would take a moment to share my good news:

December 18th, I will appear before the state Supreme Court to be sworn in as a Licensed Legal Intern.

This is a limited license to practice law. I will be able to work actual cases and appear in court under the supervision of a licensed attorney.