All this time, I've known that my daughter blamed me for the divorce. She's been conflicted because she loves me & sees that I'm the one taking care of her but she also finds herself angry at no longer having her parents together. This, of course, is compounded by her father choosing to not be very involved of late, bringing up her abandonment issues from her time in foster care.
The thing that I was never able to understand was the fact that she kept telling me that I could be married to Dad again, if I wanted to. I thought that this was maybe just a misunderstanding of the situation, which I tried to dispel by explaining to her that Dad & I had tried to get back together, but it had not worked.
So, tonight, while I'm fixing her hair before bed, I was surprised when she asked me if I was going to get married to her Dad again. "No, honey. Your dad & I aren't getting back together."
"Well why not? Your the boss of Dad. He told me so. If you tell him to marry you he has to!"
Ummm...what? Now, I remember that he used to tell the kids that I was the boss. He spent most of our marriage working away from home. So, I did basically all of the parenting. As a result, I set the rules & he just sort of followed along when he was there, since he'd be leaving again in a matter of days. Poor thing, all this time, she's blamed me because she thinks that I should just tell him what he was doing wrong and he'd HAVE to fix it. After all, I'm "the boss".